The Top 3 Birth Preferences Every Mama Should Consider (Plus How to Advocate for Yours) 🌟
If you could only choose THREE birth preferences to advocate for, what would they be? 🤔
This question came up recently, and it really got me thinking. With so many options and preferences available during birth, it can feel overwhelming to know what to prioritize. So I'm sharing my top 3 birth preferences that I believe can make the biggest impact on your birth experience!
My Top 3 Birth Preferences 📝
1️⃣ Preferred Pushing Positions 🤸♀️
This one is HUGE and often overlooked! The position you push in can dramatically affect:
How efficiently your baby moves through the birth canal
Your comfort level during pushing
Your risk of tearing
How empowered you feel during birth
Why it matters: Lying flat on your back (lithotomy position) is actually one of the least effective positions for pushing! Gravity is not your friend when you're working against it. Upright positions, squatting, side-lying, or hands-and-knees can be so much more comfortable and effective.
What to discuss with your provider:
"What pushing positions does your practice/hospital support?"
"Can I change positions during pushing if needed?"
"Are there any medical reasons I'd need to push in a specific position?"
2️⃣ Preferences on Pain Relievers 💊
Having a clear discussion about pain management before labor is crucial, whether you're planning a natural birth or are open to medical pain relief.
Why it matters: Pain management decisions often need to be made quickly during labor, and it's helpful when your care team already knows your preferences and the reasoning behind them.
What to discuss:
Your goals for pain management
What interventions you'd like to try first (position changes, water, massage, etc.)
Under what circumstances you'd want certain medications offered or not offered
How you want decisions communicated (do you want to be asked, or do you want to request?)
Remember: Your pain relief preferences can change during labor, and that's completely okay! Having a plan doesn't mean you're locked into it.
3️⃣ Delayed Measurements Until After Golden Hour ⏰
This one is close to my heart! The "Golden Hour" refers to the first hour after birth when immediate skin-to-skin contact and bonding are so crucial.
Why this matters SO much:
Promotes successful breastfeeding initiation
Helps regulate baby's temperature, heart rate, and breathing
Supports bonding and attachment
Allows baby to transition peacefully to life outside the womb
Can improve maternal satisfaction with birth experience
What delayed measurements includes:
Weight and length measurements
Routine procedures like vitamin K shot, eye ointment
Baby's first bath
Non-urgent assessments
In fact, I often hope that delaying baby's measurements until after the Golden Hour becomes standard hospital practice one day! 🙏
Why These Three? 🎯
I chose these three because they:
Significantly impact your birth experience
Are often overlooked or not discussed in detail
Can be advocated for in most birth settings
Put YOU in the driver's seat of your birth
Focus on both the birthing process AND the immediate postpartum period
Tell Us Your Top 3! 💬
Now I'm curious about YOU! What would your top 3 birth preferences be? After reading about mine, what resonates with you? What would you add to this list?
Some other preferences that are incredibly important to consider:
Who you want present during labor and delivery
Your preferences for monitoring (intermittent vs. continuous)
Cord clamping timing • Immediate skin-to-skin contact
Your birth environment (lighting, music, aromatherapy)
Breastfeeding support immediately after birth
The Art of Advocacy: Making Your Preferences Known 🗣️
Having birth preferences is one thing, but making sure they're honored is another! Here's how to effectively advocate for what you want:
Start Early 📅
Don't wait until you're in labor to have these conversations! Bring up your preferences during prenatal visits throughout your pregnancy. This gives you time to:
Gauge your provider's support for your preferences
Address any concerns or questions
Make changes to your care team if needed
Feel confident that everyone is on the same page
Have Detailed Discussions 💭
Don't just hand over a birth plan and assume it's understood. Actually TALK through your preferences:
For pushing positions: "I'd really like to try upright positions for pushing. What does that look like in your practice? Are there any positions you'd recommend against for my specific situation?"
For pain management: "My goal is to have a natural birth, but I want to feel supported if I change my mind. How do you typically handle pain management discussions during labor?"
For delayed measurements: "I'd love to delay routine procedures for at least an hour after birth for bonding and breastfeeding. What's your typical protocol, and how can we make this work?"
The Power of Three Copies 📄
Here's a practical tip that can make a huge difference: Make 3 copies of your birth preferences and hand them to the nurses when you arrive at the hospital.
Why three copies?
One for your primary nurse
One for the charge nurse
One for your backup nurse (in case of shift changes)
This ensures that everyone caring for you knows your preferences, even if there are staff changes during your labor.
Sample Conversations with Your Provider 💬
"Dr. Smith, I've been thinking about my birth preferences, and I have three things that are really important to me. Can we talk through each one and make sure we're on the same page?"
"I know things can change during labor, but having a plan helps me feel more confident. Can you help me understand what's realistic given my specific situation?"
"If complications arise, I'd love to understand my options before making decisions. Can we talk about how you typically handle unexpected situations?"
When Your Provider Isn't Supportive 🚩
If your healthcare provider isn't supportive of your preferences (and you've had thorough discussions about safety and reasoning), it might be time to consider:
Getting a second opinion
Switching providers (if possible and timing allows)
Hiring a doula for additional advocacy support
Asking more detailed questions about WHY certain preferences can't be accommodated
Remember: You deserve a provider who respects your choices and works with you to achieve your birth goals safely.
The Bigger Picture 🌈
Here's what I want you to remember: birth preferences aren't about being controlling or difficult. They're about feeling empowered, informed, and actively participating in one of the most significant experiences of your life.
Every woman deserves to feel heard and supported during birth. Every woman deserves to have her preferences considered and respected (within the bounds of safety, of course).
Whether you have 3 birth preferences or 30, the key is communication, education, and advocacy. Know your options, understand the reasoning behind your choices, and don't be afraid to speak up for what matters to you.
Your Turn! 💕
So, what are YOUR top 3 birth preferences? I'd love to hear from you! Drop a comment and share what matters most to you for your birth experience.
And if you're just starting to think about birth preferences, consider starting with these three areas. They're a great foundation for building a birth experience that feels right for you and your family.
Want to dive deeper into birth preferences and advocacy? Our HypnoBirthing classes at Happy Birthing AZ cover not just relaxation and breathing techniques, but also how to effectively communicate with your healthcare team and advocate for the birth experience you want. Because every mama deserves to feel confident and prepared for her unique birth journey. 🌵